Gary sent this through in one of his letters to us and I couldnt resist repeating it here.
Sorry Gary :-) and if by repeating this I upset you dear reader, I again apologise.
"Bora Da Guys
Nookey on the National Health? Its a mans life in Britains Model Prisons. Sex Surrogates supplied weekly.
Had I known that this was an integral part of the Gaols sentence planning procedure, I would have stolen that Mars Bar from the schooltuck shop.
However, call me old fashioned if you will, but these new sexual positions that are all the rage in the 21st Century do little to satisfy my carnal desires. Me, I am a missionary man with a few mild variations.
This recent one of bend down and touch your toes leaves me unfulfilled and besides gives me a pain in the bum for hours after!
Shall we have this as a blog Alan ROFL, LMAO (sic)