One has to hand it to the British Embassy’s leading misanthrope Kate “Kuntz” Dufall. She never misses a chance to ream us poor inmates in her charge a new 'Ronson' (rectum).
A recent victim of Kuntz is my countryman Neil “Joey” Clayton. Soon after our arrests the Royal (that’s fratricide to us commoners) Thai filth handed over our passports to the Embassy in Bangkok. Currently, by her own admission, Kuntz is holding over 70 passports, each one worth a good $US500 on the illegal passport market. A nice little earner for someone who can trace her Aussie roots back to the Botany Bay; 70 x 500=$35,000.
There’s a problem though for her to realise this windfall. Those passports are needed for when we finally repatriate, that is unless she can get us to apply for new ones. Enter Joey. Kuntz has hit upon the scam of telling us, individually that our passports have been mislaid – not lost, mislaid. As if there’s a difference! – consequently we must apply for replacement travel warrants if we want to get home, her most recent victim being Joey.
One would think that it would be the person or organisation that lost the passport that would have to bear the cost of the replacement. Not so according to Kuntz, and this is what hurts her hapless victims, it’s us victims of her scam whose pockets are robbed. To get back to Blighty Joey had to bend over, touch his toes whilst Kuntz extracted GBP 42 from his anal orifice.
How many others have been caught by Kuntz? More to the point, how many of our 70 odd passports has she managed to mislay in Bangkok’s noted dodgy passport location, the Nana hotel (otherwise known as the British Embassy), just off Sukhumvit?
Those doubting the veracity of this blog are advised to contact Joey in HMP Wandsworth, UK or any of the other recent repatriates. While you’re at it, check out Kuntz's performance with Stephen Ingram and Xi Lin circa April 2009